I FINALLY FINISHED MY GED!!!!!!!!!

Im alive:D, i have my final GED test tomorrow and i will finally have a VR again when i pass :3

i finally know the reason why my dad wont let me get a VR headset, turns out its because he felt me and my sister were obsessed with it even though she was on it the most. so i might make a proposition to my dad and ask if i can have one to try and prove him wrong and if my parents think it became a problem they can either sell it, give it away or hold onto it until im in collage.

my reasoning for why i want it so bad is because while i was grounded (and a bout a year before) i met some people who have helped me through a lot and im now really good friends with, who make content for fun, and i get too see behind the scenes and how much fun their having, on top of being asked if im planning on getting a headset so i could possibly join them.

on top of how im not really the athletic type and it forces me to be a bit more active and how when i had the quest 2 and i attempted to try and play VR on my laptop (before i finally built my PC in November) i had found some coding games that helped me more than W3Schools, and more educational apps that also helped me learn CAD and concepts.

Overall it was a really good learning experience for me, that kept me active and also would possibly help me not just grow making content but overall help me become closer to the friends i have online while making said content because it would build more trust than me seemingly not being able to interact and grow a connection further.

I got cat (her name is Layla)

Im ungrounded ( and have been since October) yet it feels like i lost a part of me, i know its not the fact i still dont have vr (mainly because i cant have it in the house, but they could maybe be saying that because of Christmas) but i still dont know what it is, i look back on videos of myself and past messages and it was like i was an entirely different person.

I thought i had felt empty at that time but i was actually happy, yes i still had… certain issues i can’t talk about here… but now its like im numb and cold.
its gotten to the point it’s affecting me at work where i just dont care anymore.

between me falling down almost every rabbit hole imaginable while i was grounded, lying about the reason i used my parents stuff when in reality I heard them talking about getting rid of the VR an i was anxious to I point i just NEEDED something because I would have done something much worse,
my manager who was like an older brother to me quitting because my job demoted him over something stupid, insomnia because i fear of losing more friends (especially those who are like family), anxiety and me having/trying to keep in more meltdowns than ive ever had when i was younger, its like i lost all my innocence and ignorance to everything going on, the child like wonder i had is just gone… dispersed into the wind and out of the atmosphere… i still act childish but i cant see the world through the same wonder i used to… all i see is red…